The present of presence, the acceptance of absence
In this time of pandemic we should all be taking time for reflection. One of the things I have reflected upon further and shared with others is the need for acceptance. Acceptance of those around you ability and or inability to be present.
I spent a great deal of my childhood angry with my biological father. Angry that while I lived in an abusive home he was absent, angry that I had to go through without a shield without protection. Angry because I had no outlet, no means of communication that wouldnt be reciprocated negatively. So I grew up a shell, a house built of emptiness and just occasional bouts of light.
In my mid 20's we were able to mend some of that anger. In my 30's he shared with me some of his reasoning that left me thinking he doesn't get it. It wasnt until my late 30's when God called him home at his home going listening to the stories shared by his friends and people he had impacted that I realized being present as a father was just something the didnt know how to do. It was shortly after the service one of my older siblings said to me wow. I always felt like his absence was so bad but listening I realize it may have been a gift, we didn't have to live the experiences you did.
Please understand my father wasn't a horrible person. In fact my father was a great man. He was an activist, community leader, a brother, a husband & a friend but fathering was just something he didn't master.
Sometimes people lack the ability to be present in what we need them to be. It's our job to acknowledge because someone is put in a place doesnt mean that's the place for them. Presence is a present but absence is also #ShakenForRestoration
I spent a great deal of my childhood angry with my biological father. Angry that while I lived in an abusive home he was absent, angry that I had to go through without a shield without protection. Angry because I had no outlet, no means of communication that wouldnt be reciprocated negatively. So I grew up a shell, a house built of emptiness and just occasional bouts of light.
In my mid 20's we were able to mend some of that anger. In my 30's he shared with me some of his reasoning that left me thinking he doesn't get it. It wasnt until my late 30's when God called him home at his home going listening to the stories shared by his friends and people he had impacted that I realized being present as a father was just something the didnt know how to do. It was shortly after the service one of my older siblings said to me wow. I always felt like his absence was so bad but listening I realize it may have been a gift, we didn't have to live the experiences you did.
Please understand my father wasn't a horrible person. In fact my father was a great man. He was an activist, community leader, a brother, a husband & a friend but fathering was just something he didn't master.
Sometimes people lack the ability to be present in what we need them to be. It's our job to acknowledge because someone is put in a place doesnt mean that's the place for them. Presence is a present but absence is also #ShakenForRestoration
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